According to the scientists at Predictably Irrational:

Finally, we wondered how less attractive individuals rationalized to themselves, their selection of less attractive others. Using a speed-dating study we found that more attractive people placed more weight on physical attractiveness in selecting their dates, while less attractive people placed more weight on other qualities e.g. sense of humor. Much like the famous line from Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, people find a way to love the ones they can be with.

My takeaway - ugly people have the same definition of attractive as hot people. They know they can’t get hot people, so they value hotness less, and therefore say they care about personality more. In other words, people care about personality because they have to, or at least because they think they have to.

Categories: Behavioral Economics, Dating, Information Asymmetries, Matching Mechanisms
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I underestimated how much having a “real job” would cut into my blogging time, and thus, posts have been slow. More than that, though, I underestimated how addicted I would get to Yahoo Answers. It’s more than just the desire to earn more points. It lets me fulfill my secret desire to be an advice columnist, and I think my 10% best answer ratio indicates I’d be pretty good at it. Most of my best answers are in the realm of dating/relationship issues and financial advice, but my friends could have told you that.

What’s my incentive to contribute? Is it the otherwise meaningless points? The thrill of answering questions? The social reward of participating and helping people? Or is it just a way for me to channel my inner Dear Abby? Lets just say that if you like my answers, and you want to give me a column at a major newspaper or alternative weekly, you know how to find me.

Categories: Dating, Incentive Centered Design, Information Markets, Social Software, Technology
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The not-so-weekly Equation of the Week returns with a formula for determining whether or not a person will engage in prostitution:

[(δU/δL) / (δU/δC) | Sp=0] ≤ w - [(δU/δr) / (δU/δC) | S = 0]

Where U=utility, L=leisure, C=goods and services consumed, S=quantity of prostitution sold, w=wage for prostitutes, and r=your reputation.

In other words:

An individual will start to sell prostitution if the price for selling the first amount of prostitution, minus the costs of a worsened reputation for doing so, exceeds the shadow price of leisure evaluated at zero prostitution sold.

Reputation, or more broadly social costs, may be one thing that individuals consider when selecting a profession, but to say it’s the only thing?

The full paper is here, via this Improbable Research Column.

Categories: Business and Economics, Careers, Dating, Equation of the Week, Funny, Incentive Centered Design, Matching Mechanisms
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Prudie has gotten interesting again, tackling a number of great dating issues (rather than crazy divorcees), meaning my favorite advice columnist is back. A reader asks her:

Dear Prudence,
My son is 21, a junior in college, and seriously dating an 18-year-old freshman. He brought her to our house for Thanksgiving, and she is attractive and charming. The problem is that we are Jewish and have mandated to our three sons that they must marry a Jewish woman. We are heartbroken that he is dating a non-Jewish woman. We are not sure if we should forbid him from dating her or if we should leave them alone and hope that they break up and he finds a nice Jewish woman to marry. Please don’t tell me that I should get over this and accept whoever he wants to marry. My wife and I cannot accept a daughter-in-law of a different faith. I don’t want to over- or underreact, and don’t know what to do.

—Heartbroken

Prudie’s answer nails it, the best way to encourage your child to have a Jewish home and marriage is to make Judaism appealing.

Categories: Community, Dating, Jewishness, Matching Mechanisms
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The spermatophore is a package of male sperm that is deposited on the female. The researchers were able to monitor the sizes of the spermatophores and found that its diameter per copulation decreased in males that mated with many partners. The scientists wrongly hypothesized that this decrease in average diameter might result from the males rationing their sperm; it turned out, however, that they were running out of resources to distribute. As a result, the females sought more mates to accumulate enough sperm to fertilize all their eggs.

Scientists have discovered that with fewer males, females get more frisky.  And get your mind out of the gutter, they’re talking about butterflies.

Categories: Dating, Distribution, Funny, Matching Mechanisms, Science
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Phoebe at Jewlicious bemoans that all Jewish events are Jewish singles events, taking her recent Birthright trip as the example:

The problem with Birthright (or at least the version I experienced) as it currently exists is the level of desperation. One can’t help but wonder, if Israel’s such a great country, then why do people have to pay us to go visit it? If Jewish women are so beautiful, as Momo keeps insisting, then why do Jewish men have to be told to notice this?

At some point, the leadership of the Jewish community has to wake up and end the forced mating program before Jews become like pandas, unwilling to breed in captivity to save the species. Instead, they need to go back to stating the value proposition of Judaism, the reasons that it’s worth saving.
Also, her post is one of the best I’ve ever read in the JBlogosphere.

Categories: Community, Dating, Israel, Jewishness, Matching Mechanisms, Strategy
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Via the Piled Higher and Deeper blog:

Some theories of mine:

1. The PhD blog questions whether immigration from Mexico explains the patterns in the southwest. I know that all the data says most immigrants are young, single males (it’s one reason that the population isn’t growing as quickly), so I’m inclined to believe this. I’m less inclined to believe the explanation about the east coast: that women, who attend college in higher proportions, stay on the east coast. They have to be migrating from somewhere and my guess is that it isn’t the west coast.
2. The disparities for men over women are actually pretty small, when you look at it. There are 40,000 more single men than women in LA, the largest difference, but that’s in a city of almost 10 million people. The disparity in the New York area, where women outnumber men, is four and a half times that size - 180,000. There, the city alone has over 8 million people, and my guess is the surrounding area probably brings it close to twice that.
3. What are the marriage patterns like in these areas? Thats one thing I always wonder about singles data (if the best cities for singles are so good, why do people stay single?) There’s some interesting sociology (or even better, matching mechanisms!) research for somebody who wants to do it. I’ve always said that just because there are a lot more people, doesn’t mean it’s easier to find one, or even easier to get married.
4. Aren’t there more women than men? If so, these numbers make a lot less sense - by definition women will outnumber men in most places.

Categories: America, Community, Dating, Immigration, Matching Mechanisms
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For my friends who plan to marry a rich man to spoil them (and I have far more than you’d imagine), Forbes offers a Special Report on How to Land a Rich Man:

Of course, finding that big-time breadwinner is not as easy as it sounds. It’s all about knowing how and where to search. Enter the gurus with their sage advice.

“You’ll need to upgrade where you go,” advises Sayles.

“Hang out where the wealthy do,” echoes Johnson. That means drinking at their bars (think five-star hotels), dining at their restaurants (super high-end, of course) and playing their sports (golf, anyone?).

Another sure bet for Anna Nicole Smith-wannabes: charity events. Johnson says there’s no need to donate the big bucks. Just sign up as a volunteer–you’ll get a sneak peek at the guest list, an invite to the party and a free pass to mingle with the moneyed.

After that last paragraph, dare I categorize this under “philanthropy?” If seeking rich men gets attractive women to volunteer more, I am 100% in favor of it. After all, when they solicit they raise a full standard deviation more money, and I’m not convinced that anyone else at that party is there for fully selfless reasons.

Categories: Careers, Community, Dating, Matching Mechanisms, Philanthropy
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“Consent,” a short film featuring lawyers negotiating a hook up.  Sadly, even the best lawyers I know, DworinLaw, still don’t offer that service.

Via BoingBoing, who found it via LawGeek

Categories: Dating, Funny, Governance, Law
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